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【TOP 50】Bill Hicks Quotes - WhatsApp Status | Page-1

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You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out:

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well...we looked at the receipts."

Childbirth is a miracle. No, it's not. . . . It's a chemical reaction, that's all. - Bill Hicks Quotes

Childbirth is a miracle. No, it's not. . . . It's a chemical reaction, that's all.

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet.

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

We are trying to revitalize things here. We want to make Calvert home to the three A's - authors, artists and antiques. - Bill Hicks Quotes

We are trying to revitalize things here. We want to make Calvert home to the three A's - authors, artists and antiques.

How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy. - Bill Hicks Quotes

How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy.

It basically has a crystal in it whose frequency is proportional to a temperature, ... As the temperature increases, the frequency increases and vice versa. - Bill Hicks Quotes

It basically has a crystal in it whose frequency is proportional to a temperature, ... As the temperature increases, the frequency increases and vice versa.

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know? - Bill Hicks Quotes

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?

I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . . Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You're dead too. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . . Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You're dead too.

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. - Bill Hicks Quotes

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

American Comedian Drugs Funny

Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts; that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm. . . . Sounds like . . . every commercial on television, doesn't it? - Bill Hicks Quotes

Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts; that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm. . . . Sounds like . . . every commercial on television, doesn't it?

Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No bullshit, I'm not joking just do it. I'm just sowing seeds, one day they may take root. - Bill Hicks Quotes

Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No bullshit, I'm not joking just do it. I'm just sowing seeds, one day they may take root.

The musicians today who don't do drugs and in fact speak out against it?

The musicians today who don't do drugs and in fact speak out against it? "Rock Against Drugs?" BOY do they suck.

Drugs

You know all that money we spend on the military ever year -- trillions of dollars? Instead, if we use this money to feed and clothe the poor of this world, which it would do many times over, then we can explore space, inner and outer, together, as one race. - Bill Hicks Quotes

You know all that money we spend on the military ever year -- trillions of dollars? Instead, if we use this money to feed and clothe the poor of this world, which it would do many times over, then we can explore space, inner and outer, together, as one race.

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

American Comedian Funny

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

American Comedian Funny

My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked. - Bill Hicks Quotes

My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!' - Bill Hicks Quotes

I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!'

God help me. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I make no bones about it. I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night. . . . - Bill Hicks Quotes

God help me. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I make no bones about it. I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night. . . .

Funny

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. - Bill Hicks Quotes

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

American Comedian Funny Television

See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money! - Bill Hicks Quotes

See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you've got the money!

He was convicted on his own statement. There was absolutely no evidence [my client] had anything personally to do with the mention of any bomb and no physical evidence a bomb was about to be constructed. - Bill Hicks Quotes

He was convicted on his own statement. There was absolutely no evidence [my client] had anything personally to do with the mention of any bomb and no physical evidence a bomb was about to be constructed.

We are trying to revitalize things here, ... We want to make Calvert home to the three A's - authors, artists and antiques. - Bill Hicks Quotes

We are trying to revitalize things here, ... We want to make Calvert home to the three A's - authors, artists and antiques.

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking) - Bill Hicks Quotes

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you're all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)

Drugs

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. - Bill Hicks Quotes

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

I've greased my hair and I'm a little f*****g poet tonight, alright. I'm the little dark poet, that's who I am. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I've greased my hair and I'm a little f*****g poet tonight, alright. I'm the little dark poet, that's who I am.

Nazis are for the New Age concern - Bill Hicks Quotes

Nazis are for the New Age concern

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves. - Bill Hicks Quotes

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.

American Comedian Funny

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. - Bill Hicks Quotes

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

American Comedian Funny

I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day,

I've learned a lot about women. I think I've learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, ""Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we'll never age, we'll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them."" And Eve said, ""Yeah... it's just not enough is it?""

If child molestation is actually your concern, how come we don't see Bradley tanks knocking down Catholic churches? - Bill Hicks Quotes

If child molestation is actually your concern, how come we don't see Bradley tanks knocking down Catholic churches?

They blow themselves up in order to get at us, and we launch 3 million dollar missiles off of giant floating iron islands 2000 miles away -- Who are the real cowards? - Bill Hicks Quotes

They blow themselves up in order to get at us, and we launch 3 million dollar missiles off of giant floating iron islands 2000 miles away -- Who are the real cowards?

Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it -- and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist -- is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go,

Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it -- and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist -- is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go, ""Show me.""

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. - Bill Hicks Quotes

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.

I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say

I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say ""Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it."" I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here...

It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. - Bill Hicks Quotes

It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time.

If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches? - Bill Hicks Quotes

If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches?

Abuse

I'm gonna share with you a vision that I had, cause I love you. And you feel it. You know all that money we spend on nuclear weapons and defense each year, trillions of dollars, correct? Instead -- just play with this -- if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world -- and it would pay for it many times over, not one human being excluded -- we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever in peace. Thank you very much. You've been great, I hope you enjoyed it. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I'm gonna share with you a vision that I had, cause I love you. And you feel it. You know all that money we spend on nuclear weapons and defense each year, trillions of dollars, correct? Instead -- just play with this -- if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world -- and it would pay for it many times over, not one human being excluded -- we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever in peace. Thank you very much. You've been great, I hope you enjoyed it.

Are there moths on the way to the sun right now going,

Are there moths on the way to the sun right now going, ""It's gonna be worth it!""?

I'm not a girl, I'm a guy you know? But at the same time, I tell ya how you can solve this abortion issue right now. Ready? Those unwanted babies that single moms leave in alleys and in dumpsters? Leave about 12 of those on the steps of The Supreme Court. This is over. Like that. 'You guys said we had to have them? Then you guys...F***ING RAISE 'EM. Raise 'em then, you f***ing raise 'em. YOU raise 'em. You said I had to have it? Then it's yours. F**k. It's yours..Take it.' - Bill Hicks Quotes

I'm not a girl, I'm a guy you know? But at the same time, I tell ya how you can solve this abortion issue right now. Ready? Those unwanted babies that single moms leave in alleys and in dumpsters? Leave about 12 of those on the steps of The Supreme Court. This is over. Like that. 'You guys said we had to have them? Then you guys...F***ING RAISE 'EM. Raise 'em then, you f***ing raise 'em. YOU raise 'em. You said I had to have it? Then it's yours. F**k. It's yours..Take it.'

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

American Comedian Funny

We opened in probably the worst way you can open a school. - Bill Hicks Quotes

We opened in probably the worst way you can open a school.

It can stay in the body for a couple of days and the pill itself can operate for nine days, ... But generally, in the case of football players, the food's going to push through more quickly. So, as a general rule, it's a 24-hour, one-day pill. - Bill Hicks Quotes

It can stay in the body for a couple of days and the pill itself can operate for nine days, ... But generally, in the case of football players, the food's going to push through more quickly. So, as a general rule, it's a 24-hour, one-day pill.

Body

People laugh at the Stones because of their age. Mick, Charlie, Ron and Keith can still play with the best of the young bands today. - Bill Hicks Quotes

People laugh at the Stones because of their age. Mick, Charlie, Ron and Keith can still play with the best of the young bands today.

They can't easily say what they want to say in case they're deemed unpatriotic. It's all part of a fear-based hypnosis, so I was worried about how they'd take the track, but I played it when I was on tour in the US and people loved it. - Bill Hicks Quotes

They can't easily say what they want to say in case they're deemed unpatriotic. It's all part of a fear-based hypnosis, so I was worried about how they'd take the track, but I played it when I was on tour in the US and people loved it.

Fear

Certainly over the past year and earlier, the amount of money that was supposed to be in the respective funds was, in fact, not there. - Bill Hicks Quotes

Certainly over the past year and earlier, the amount of money that was supposed to be in the respective funds was, in fact, not there.

I thought our guys were flat, but (CDS) is a good team, definitely a talented team. I think the lesson from this is our boys need to show up in a highly aggressive, competitive state of mind. - Bill Hicks Quotes

I thought our guys were flat, but (CDS) is a good team, definitely a talented team. I think the lesson from this is our boys need to show up in a highly aggressive, competitive state of mind.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks Quotes

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

American Comedian Funny

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution. - Bill Hicks Quotes

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.

American Comedian Funny

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